...well no he doesn't. He just gets a lovely Limited Edition Communion Records LP.
Thank you to everyone who posted a song suggestion. After consulting with my assistant judges (NewMan and Mo) I have picked a winner. But first I think all the responses are worthy of mention.
Here they all are:
Steven B says "Wild Wild West" by Kool Moe Dee sums up Shepherd's Bush for him. I think this is apt for the Bush and very head-nod-able.
M.A. suggested unsigned band John Landau & the Giant's tune "Funky People". She quoted the lyrics: " "I know some funky people", every colour, every creed... sums it up for me". Very well put me darling.
I was thoroughly educated about songs which refer to the Bush by Chris Hampson (see his comment here - brilliant) but his tune, "Tied up Too Tight" by Hard-Fi was chosen for personal reasons. I'll let Chris explain: "The lyric that sums it up is 'Straight out of West London(Na na na na na na) Just like a loaded gun' - the track itself being about wanting to get away from where you're originally from and escape the mundaneness of it all and head for the bright lights of London - something I think many of the non-native Bush people can relate to, and certainly one that chimed with me back in 2004/5. So forever more I will think of Shepherd's Bush (and West London generally) every time I hear this."
Hammersmith Blue chose a song by "Bush blokes ...about a place where the kids are alright such as The Bush!". I can't argue with this.
JimF chose a song that is close to my heart but for different reasons to him. Jim chose this song because it reminded him of the Bush when he was away, and will always be linked to an important part of the Bush for him: QPR. It was for this reason that Scott Jonesy also chose this song. With The Clash's origins being W12 this is a big Shepherd's Bush song; "London Calling".
Quite brilliantly Sachab chose the Fast Food Rockers' "The Fast Food Song" as an ode to the number of fast food shops scattered around these parts.
My good friend Bella, who has grown up in a neighbouring postcode, chose a song that was the background to a strong childhood memory of the Bush, "Sunny" by Boney M. (I'd forgotten how much I love this song.) Here's her reason why: "This track ALWAYS reminds me of good times in the Bush, sun shining, rasta colours and the madness of the market when I was a mini me SheBu was pretty much the only place back in the day my folks could get the much craved for sweet potatoes, yams and ting. On the way to the market, 'Sunny' would be blasting in our car..much to my horror as my parents decided to imitate the dance (not to be repeated)! What I did like about Shepards Bush at the time was that even though these songs were going at full pelt, no-one batted an eye lid..anything goes...nowts changed." (Sadly Bella I have to exclude you from the competition, I have too much love for you.)
The talented blogger Rose made a last minute suggestion of Willy Mason "We Can be Strong" because "it's the best gig I've ever been to at Bush Hall and we walked back from there to the Green singing it at the top of our voices!" What a wonderful Bush story.
And finally, ProducerNeil, the cheeky bar-steward had the last laugh with the suggestion "Somewhere Else" by Razorlight. He thinks the following section is "a fitting lyrical song for Shepherd's Bush?"
But now I just can't help myself
I really really wish I could be somewhere else
You give me everything I need
But i really really wish i could be somewhere else
Just anywhere else
Just anywhere else than here
What do you think?
And so the winner... well it was a tough decision and if I could break the record into little pieces and dish it out I would but that would be a pretty crappy competition prize. Here are the top three:
In third place: ProducerNeil... it may not be the most complimentary suggestion but it got the biggest laugh.
In second place: Chris Hampson... I love the thought he put into finding songs about Shepherd's Bush but also that his song was ultimately for good personal reasons.
In first place: JimF... he chose an almighty song for the best reasons; history, football, memories, absence making the heart fonder etc. Here's Jim's answer in full.
"Has to be London Calling by The Clash. By the bush for the bush. Great QPR song - I insisted we played it before every game when I worked at the club. Some of the band are fans (Mick Jones for one) and all lived locally. When I lived in Nottingham missing the Bush I'd drive round Shepherds Bush Green with the top down on my convertible blaring this song out to make me feel home. Sad but true."
A worthy winner.